ROUGH CUT 2

Below are our changes made after receiving feedback on our first rough cut. 

- Added a temporary soundtrack
- Removed shots of ground for time

- Removed shaking of actors (seemed too cold)

- Synced pings more

- Zoomed in onto phone to see texts

- Removed unscrewing shots for time

- Cigarette was broken, so close up removed

- Separated shot types by two to make it flow better

- Removed camera shakes

- Changed dialogue ("slash my throat" removed) and seemed unnatural

- Shorter clips for time

- Rearranged order for continuity

- Removed the zoom out from the book

- Changed MS to an ELS to show Mandy pushing Laurie 

- Changed second mirror pov shot to a side close up of lipgloss

- Removed final tracking shot 

- Added missing poster stepping 

Here is the feedback we received from the other media students: 

Summary: 

What were your impressions of sound?

- Music not appropriate for younger target audience (15-24+)

- Add heartbeat for tension

- Cut visual keep sound of screaming (too long)

- Rerecord audio dialogue 

- Element of intertextuality could be using, Halloween/Psycho music

- Music coming in and out (too long, distracting)

- Use of strings for slashing 

- Non-diegetic music for mood in forest or street

- Only use "Killer Queen" at locker scene

- Add sound effect to cross cuts

- Long drawn out notes, music increasing (volume, pitch, and speed)

- Add more to ambient sound, intermittent, add leaves, nature, birds 

What are your impressions of the shots?

- Should starts with an ELS/hand of god sequence

- Cut to close up of cigarettes as vodka 

- Add more narrative enigma in shot 1 

- Longer jumpscare

- Make street to forest flow better

- Rearrange shots to speed up, between trees first, create ellipses 

- Shorter takes for running scene (speed it up)

- Remove awkward shots (maintain 180 degree rule)

- Tighten frame to show nerves 

- Cut to voyeurism shot (tree)

- Shorter forest clips

- Phone call too long 

- Add pov shot (Halloween)

- Include shots of slashing/blood

- Make cross cutting longer 

What were your impressions of lighting?

- Make all lighting the same 

- Add shaking or colouring difference in cross cuts

- Lighten digging scene 

- Fade to black at end 

- End on foot on poster 

- Can't see skirt during burial