ROUGH CUT 5

Below are our changes made after receiving feedback on our fourth rough cut. 

- Isolated bells for the audio-bridge

- Changed linking words for all titles to a sans-serif font to highlight names

- Made titles less stretched out 

- Changed wording (title convention), shows main producer and co-producers, as well as removing "distributed by" as it's not conventional wording for titles

- Added foley sound for opening shots

- Merged both mine and Sasha's names in order to have one director credit

- Added a fade to the titles so they don't appear as suddenly

- Isolated titles and credits 

- Added forest foley sound and snapping 

- Removed ELS of Marion screaming at the tree (comic effect creating an oppositional reading)

- Kept phone ringing and changed audio levels 

- Removed burial scene 

- Added slo-mo on final screaming shot

- Added water drips and static to the main title

- Removed second written and directed credit (was meant to be added in initial titles)

- Removed "the next day" from locker scene

- Edited locker scene lighting 

Here is the written feedback we received from the other media students: 

- Opening bells are too loud

- Make hand of god foley sound quieter

- Linking words are still too large

- Fade Friday The 13th music

- Start the titles from the opening 

- Remove cigarette shot (verisimilitude broken as she breaks it)

- Makeup and costume should be separately credited

- Titles should be smaller

- Make sure all titles are identical (size, font, tracking, spacing)

- Slow running more

- Remake foley sound of footsteps 

- Turn down noises of the birds, sounds like the middle of the day

- Add more sounds to main title

- Add movement to main title

- Play scream over main title

- Cross-cut "Norman" screaming with burial scene shots

- Add a fade to black at the end

ROUGH CUT 4

Below are our changes made after receiving feedback on our third rough cut. 

- Switched the ident order and changed the font for Skyscraper Productions

- Added an audio-bridge to the final ident

- Made text for linking words smaller in the larger titles (title convention) in order for the company and director/producer names to stand out 

- Made title length longer

- Reshot the Cherry Falls (2000) hand of god, recreated shots more closely and in the daytime as previous shots were dark and shaky, previous shots were also too quick

- Recreated the Friday The 13th (1980) music on GarageBand

- Crosscut of director and producer titles with the opening of the street scene

- Re-edited the street scene

- Re-edited the burial scene to make it lighter and have longer cross-cuts

- Removed appearing effect on the main title

- Added piano recreation of "Killer Queen" for the locker scene

- Edited locker scene lighting for it to appear colder

Here is the written feedback we received from the other media students: 

- Change title wording (present not presents)

- Linking title words should be in a different font 

- Titles are too stretched over the screen

- Don't show houses in shots (oppositional reading of preferred isolated and small town reading), tighten the shots more

- Tower should be centrally framed

- Add a town sign to recreate Cherry Falls (2000)  sequence, and to anchor preferred small town reading

- Locker scene lighting is too bright

- Running looks sped up and comedic (another oppositional reading)

- Norman is repeated too many times and sounds redundant

- Necklace dropping shot is shaky

- Zoom into Marion lying on the floor full of blood (background is too dark)

- Remove "the next day" from the locker scene

ROUGH CUT 3

 Below are our changes made after receiving feedback on our second rough cut. 

- added idents

- added titles

- created a hand of god opening inspired by Cherry Falls (2000)

- added a colour filter to the street scene

- cut out shots in the forest scene for time

- tightened or zoomed out shots to flow better

- shortened clips when Marion was calling for Norman to follow Barthes' action codes

- removed the phone dialling for time 

- cross cut phone call

- added a POV shot

- added a temporary Psycho (1960) slashing sound effect

- added the main title 

- ended the locker scene with Mandy's foot stepping on a missing poster

Here is the written feedback we received from the other media students: 

- Ident needs to be reshot; add music, remove shake, maybe use a time-lapse 

- The titles are too quick

- The opening sequence is too quick

- Opening sequence needs to be reshot as it is too dark and shaky

- The font for connecting words should be different (title convention)

- Spacing between titles needs to be the same

- Add an audio-bridge to the final ident

- Ident order should be switched in order to keep the sound

ROUGH CUT 2

Below are our changes made after receiving feedback on our first rough cut. 

- Added a temporary soundtrack
- Removed shots of ground for time

- Removed shaking of actors (seemed too cold)

- Synced pings more

- Zoomed in onto phone to see texts

- Removed unscrewing shots for time

- Cigarette was broken, so close up removed

- Separated shot types by two to make it flow better

- Removed camera shakes

- Changed dialogue ("slash my throat" removed) and seemed unnatural

- Shorter clips for time

- Rearranged order for continuity

- Removed the zoom out from the book

- Changed MS to an ELS to show Mandy pushing Laurie 

- Changed second mirror pov shot to a side close up of lipgloss

- Removed final tracking shot 

- Added missing poster stepping 

Here is the feedback we received from the other media students: 

Summary: 

What were your impressions of sound?

- Music not appropriate for younger target audience (15-24+)

- Add heartbeat for tension

- Cut visual keep sound of screaming (too long)

- Rerecord audio dialogue 

- Element of intertextuality could be using, Halloween/Psycho music

- Music coming in and out (too long, distracting)

- Use of strings for slashing 

- Non-diegetic music for mood in forest or street

- Only use "Killer Queen" at locker scene

- Add sound effect to cross cuts

- Long drawn out notes, music increasing (volume, pitch, and speed)

- Add more to ambient sound, intermittent, add leaves, nature, birds 

What are your impressions of the shots?

- Should starts with an ELS/hand of god sequence

- Cut to close up of cigarettes as vodka 

- Add more narrative enigma in shot 1 

- Longer jumpscare

- Make street to forest flow better

- Rearrange shots to speed up, between trees first, create ellipses 

- Shorter takes for running scene (speed it up)

- Remove awkward shots (maintain 180 degree rule)

- Tighten frame to show nerves 

- Cut to voyeurism shot (tree)

- Shorter forest clips

- Phone call too long 

- Add pov shot (Halloween)

- Include shots of slashing/blood

- Make cross cutting longer 

What were your impressions of lighting?

- Make all lighting the same 

- Add shaking or colouring difference in cross cuts

- Lighten digging scene 

- Fade to black at end 

- End on foot on poster 

- Can't see skirt during burial

ROUGH CUT 1

After filming all of our scenes, we compiled an initial rough cut, focusing on the shots and editing, and excluding sound, titles, idents and effects. 

To improve the scene, we got audience feedback from my parents, as they fall under the 25-44+ category, which is our secondary target audience. However, they are not big fans of horror so some references and elements could potentially not be picked up. 

Summary: 

What were your initial impressions of the rough cut?

- Liked the burial scene, and thought skirt on soil created narrative enigma (Barthes) surrounding the identities of the killer and victim

- Liked the POV mirror shot from the locker scene

- Atmospheric setting during forest scene

- Difficulty following dialogue due to clarity

- Liked the shot through the trees in the forest

Are there any specific areas that need improvement?

- Dialogue during street scene was unnatural, should be rerecorded 

- Shouldn't change dialogue too much, maintain verisimilitude as that is how teenagers speak

Were there any elements of intertextuality you noticed?

- The character Norman like Norman Bates from Psycho

What could we include to appeal to your age group? Is anything appealing already?

- The inclusion of an older character (parent, teacher, family member, authority figure), to add depth and a backstory

- Allows for personal identification (UGT) within the secondary audience

What would you consider to be the target audience for the film?

- The primary audience as teenage boys, as they are more interested in horror and violence, and girls as secondary

- Teenage boys would be more interested in watching teenage girls in a film (male gaze)

- Teenagers ranging from 12-18

- With a certification of 16+ (BBFC 15)

Sample Scene 3

We planned our next shoot for December 8th, during the afternoon so we could aim to shoot before dark, while still having a few night scenes. We had originally planned to keep the material we had shot for our rough cut, after having reviewed the scenes and some possible issues, we may reshoot certain scenes. 

Our location was the forest near my house, we chose it since it was easy to access and has a lot of variety in the path and trees. It was also close to the street we were using to film the next scene, and was well lit in the dark. 

For costume, we wanted to use everything to include in our final cut. We wanted to reflect the character archetypes of slasher, and use signifiers, such as the letterman jacket and the short skirt to anchor these tropes. The full detail for costume is on the blogpost here .

The main issue we encountered was due to the cold temperatures and hail. Although we had brought jackets for the cast they were not warm enough while shooting, which caused a lot of delays. If reshooting, or for our burial scene, we would plan on wearing warmer layers.

To break up the scene, we created a call sheet with the shots we intended to use. This helped us get the shot variety we wanted as well as keeping track of where we were at, before adding other shots. 

The script we used and the evolution of it is on the blogpost here .

Here is me directing the cast and demonstrating how I wanted them to perform for the jump scare. 

This is the initial edit of the sample scene:

After showing our media class, we have received the following feedback:

Transcript: 

What are the first initial mistakes that you noticed?

- Sense of stalking wasn't created

- Phone pings timings don’t sync up

- Shots of ground is unnecessary, can cut scene shorter

- We can clearly see her shaking, mask the elements of coldness

Can you clearly denote the horror genre? If not, what can we do to make it clearer that it’s horror?

- The false scare

- Connotations of drinking, smoking, and sex as "sinful" 

Is there anything we can change visually?

- Zoom in on the phone to show the text better

- Bottle isn't seen well

- Unnecessary unscrewing shot, and re-screwing is too long

- Can see the cigarette is broken, cut to hide that

Continuity wise, are there any parts that don’t make sense?

- Zoom in or zoom out when jumping between shots to flow better

- Close up reaction to vodka can be taken out

- Remove camera shake during scare

Are there any changes we should make to the dialogue?

- Dialogue seems ingenuine ("slash my throat")

- Bad dialogue audio, rerecord

Overall the shoot was very successful. To avoid losing time in the future we would aim to rehearse and block the scenes with the cast multiple times, and also plan ahead due to weather conditions, making sure to dress warmly and maybe bring a warm drink or gloves for the cast. 

Sample Scene 2

After our initial sample scene, we wanted to create another using as many possible elements to include in our final scene. 

We created the mise-en-scene of the locker and the missing posters. The inside of the locker is decorated with some pictures of our cast as well as various lipglosses for Mandy to use. The poster on the locker was placed so it could be visible for the majority of our takes. We also added a mirror inside the locker to create a close up using it, and potentially for our jump scare. 

For the costumes, we wanted to use as many pieces we thought we wold include in our final cut, such as the fake glasses, heart earrings and heart jumper. Through our composition of the mise-en-scene and costumes, we were able to have a more accurate representation of our intended scene, and see the possible difficulties we could face while filming. 

After creating a call sheet for the scene, we had a basic idea of shots to film and elements of continuity to be aware of. This was very helpful to us as we only had 45 minutes to film, and we made sure to include the necessary shots before experimenting further.         

Here is our second sample scene: 

After editing our sample scene and showing it to our media class this is the feedback we received: 

Improvements to make in the next shoot: 

- posters could be aged, scribbled on, placed differently to be more realistic

- the lockers and corridor is too tidy, we need to create verisimilitude through bags on the floor, coats, etc...

- the false scare; needs to be built up to more (e.g. looking around), acknowledged more by actors 

- the locker could be decorated more

- the takes are too long, should be short and fast

- there needs to be larger shot variety and cuts

- scream queen character needs to be played up more; emphasis on lips and lipstick (male gaze), wearing more makeup, jewellery, hair

- final girl character needs to be accentuated more; baggier clothes, bigger glasses

- bracelet dialogue reveals too much exposition, should be communicated visually

- bracelet should be highlighted more; bigger bracelet and clearer shot

- stronger costume signifiers (e.g. Heathers)

- using music or ambient sound throughout the scene 

- removing the slo-mo at the end